February 2012
84 posts
Knowing I turn twenty soon terrifies me. Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, I don’t want to get older. Can I get a time machine to go back to my high school days? I feel so old. Pretty soon I’ll be walking around with a cane in a retirement home dreaming about my youth, but it’s okay because inside that cane will be a hidden blade which I shall use to engage the other residents in a duel to the...
3 tags
Hotarubi no Mori e is a beautiful movie. The ending brought tears to my eyes.
Dear you,
I went into the city today. First time in ages to be honest. At first I was terrified to go. You know I was never a big fan of crowds but once I got used to my surroundings everything went rather well. It wasn’t a bad trip at all. I guess I overreacted a bit, heh. It must have been about ten years since I’ve last been inside the Metropolitan Museum. I’m pretty sure the...
Sundays nights are always so depressing. This much hasn’t changed.
Today was the day I went into the city to visit the Metropolitan Museum of Art with my art history class. The ride there was absolutely terrible. If it wasn’t my motion sickness getting the better of me then it was my anxiety putting me on edge. In the end it was just me over thinking though as always. I enjoyed my time spent in that museum. While waiting in the lobby I couldn’t help...
Why do I even take naps? It feels like someone beat the shit out of me in my sleep.
It was foolish of me to worry over and seek something like a reason to be here. The fact that I’m still alive and kicking is more than enough. I’ve just been too much of an idiot to realize that, but hey that’s life. We make mistakes and then we learn from them. A continuous process of trial and error. I think I’m making good progress.
We should go on a new adventure together. We can travel around and get lost in the woods. Help others along the way. Experience what the world has to offer, but why stop there? Let’s go slay a dragon and fight off an army. We’ll climb the highest mountains and build a castle in our name. Haha, it’ll be great. A brand new adventure is waiting just over the horizon. What do you...
I’m going to try and be more honest to myself and others. The truth will set you free and that’s what I’ve wanted for a long time. Freedom from these chains that bind me. It’s not gonna be easy but I’ll take it one step at a time.
Rotten Apple
The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree and if that’s the case then I’m no good. Why did you choose to befriend a rotten apple like me? Why couldn’t you just go on ahead to the others that were ready for the picking. I’m no one special, so why did you choose me? Did you know how difficult it was to see you go when you were the only one who bothered to stay even if...
Everyone has something to live for. That’s why we’re still here. My reason is the same as it’s ever been. For me it was always to strive toward a better tomorrow. I don’t think I’m there yet but some day it’ll happen. Still, I can’t help but wonder if that’s good enough. Who can say when that day will be? A week? A month? A year? I don’t know....
Sometimes I close my eyes and pretend you’re there sitting next to me. You always listen without a word and give a comforting smile as if nothing’s changed at all. It’s silly, I know but it helps ease the pain even if only a little bit. I’ve gotten used to keeping my problems and emotions to myself. I bottle it all up and when these floodgates threaten to burst I pour my...
I have to go to the Metropolitan Museum of Art over the weekend. It’s been years since I’ve actually been there. If I remember correctly the last time I’ve gone was during elementary school for a field trip. Truth be told I’m a bit hesitant on going. It’s mandatory for my art history class so it’s not like I have a choice but the thought of traveling there alone...
Tag
Tag! You’re it!
And just like that you were able to catch me with such ease. It’s a childish game that we’ve all played at some point in our lives. During elementary school my friends and I would gather out in the yard for recess to play tag. I wasn’t as fast as the others so I used the crowds to my advantage. I stayed hidden and remained out of sight from them until it...
I managed to get an 86 on my psych test. I guess all that cramming the day before paid off, haha. It’s beautiful outside. Shame I have a math class later during such great weather. It kinda makes me want to just skip out and go sit around at the park instead with a good book keeping me company, though I haven’t cracked one open in ages. I think it’s time to change that.
I went out for another walk tonight but the stars weren’t there. Clouds had taken over their place instead. Did the night always feel this lonely without them watching over me? It felt like such a foreign place. You can even say that it was lonely.
I feel at ease tonight. It certainly is a wonderful feeling when I think back on how hectic the last week has been. I’ve been so tired out from all the school work and studying, but now I think I can finally begin writing that letter.
Today’s been the first good day I’ve had in ages. Got a high score on my math test and I have no doubt in my mind that I passed my psych test as well. I’m going to listen to a friend’s advice and treat myself to something nice. It’s nice to have Wednesdays off.
Memory
Recently in psychology I learned of a man who had surgery done on his brain to remove his epilepsy. The surgery was a success, however by removing the chunk of his brain that caused the epilepsy the patient could not make new memories. He could remember everything up until the surgery but from that point he was unable to forge new memories. I couldn’t help but pity him. Can you possibly...
Haha, I certainly am a glutton for punishment. I wonder why I do this to myself when I know the outcome will be the same. This too shall end like anything else. I can delay and postpone it as much as I’d like but sooner or later it’ll end. And knowing that I can’t do a thing to stop it breaks my heart. I don’t want another fleeting moment to pass me by. This time around I...
22
Happy birthday old friend. You turn twenty-two this year, right? Oh how the years have changed. It seems like it was only yesterday when I’d come over and we’d end up playing Final Fantasy 7 or Grand Theft Auto for hours on end. The two of us were once inseparable. Bonds like those just naturally forge when you’ve basically known a guy your whole life. I still find it strange...
To say that the last week has been stressful is a complete understatement. I’m really tired. It’s tough having to stay so calm and composed in the middle of class when you’re threatening to break down at any given moment. Everything I’ve written has felt so empty and mechanical. Just a pen on paper and nothing more. No emotion, feeling, or passion of the sort. They’re...
Valentine
The last time I spent Valentines day with a special someone was about three years ago during my junior year of high school. I wrote her a poem that day. Sometimes I can’t help but wonder how I even built up the nerve to read it out loud to her. It wasn’t great but she liked it and that’s all that mattered. After that she sang me a song and we spent the rest of the day enjoying...
I see nothing wrong with Valentines day or spending it alone for that matter. A day where people can celebrate love is nice and you can’t go wrong with candy. While it’s true that people shouldn’t need a holiday like this to show how much they mean to one another I’d rather not have too much of a good thing. Days like this where you can celebrate every once in awhile is...
